15 December 2006

Ha ha.

I believe I just heard on the Diane Rehm show from one of the experts that, based on a recent poll of the American people, you have a better chance of being elected President in the coming election if you are homosexual than if you were a member of Bush's Cabinet of Advisors. That makes me laugh.

14 December 2006

i may well not make it...

Monday night I felt the beginnings of a cold. You know how you kind of feel the urge to cough and then there is that, well, kind of taste of a cough? When I get dry coughs like this my back also starts to itch. Right in the middle where I can't reach it without contorting my whole body. (And contort my whole body I MUST because those itches MUST be scratched or they will drive me insane!) So, Monday night, dry coughy tasting coughs with itchy back. But it was pretty subtle, so I suspected I had just had a bit of a light cold.

Ahh, how fond my memory of that night is...

Tuesday I got up and went to work as normal. But I could practically FEEL the energy draining out of my body. I had a project at work to finish and decided that I would finish that up and then spend the rest of the day at home sleeping and relaxing this slight cold off. Ha ha. How naive I was. This Sunday I am heavily involved in our church's candlelight service as a reader, and also as a soloist. And this isn't any ordinary solo. This one is a special arrangement of 'Mary Did You Know' written and arranged ESPECIALLY for my voice and a solo cello. So, while also wanting to avoid sickness, I also wanted to be able to read and sing without sounding like a snot bag.

Back to Tuesday. Tuesday at around noon I head home to the well wishes of my gracious coworkers. I lay on the couch the rest of the day deleting old stored shows on the Tivo and watching like a hundred 'Baby Story' type shows. Joel graciously volunteers to go get chinese food for dinner and we watch tv all night. I take our second to last dose of NyQuil and retire at an early hour. That night I decide I would probably rather die than live in the pain I am experiencing. I think to myself "I am probably not going to work tomorrow."

Oh how right I am. Wednesday morning I roll over and look at the clock and decide that work is NOT in the cards. My whole body aches. The pajamas I am wearing scratch my skin. I am cold, but sweating. My throat is swollen and I feel like utter crap. I wake up at 10am, fire an email to work and decide that I might at least feel a bit more comfortable after a nice shower and some clean clothes. Accomplish those tasks. Find some bootleg sudafed - the kind you can get in front of the counter - after searching for what seems like years for a way to get rid of the PAIN. I decide that a day in - even if sick - should not be wasted. I wash all the clothes and towels over the NUMEROUS hours I am at home alone. Joel brings my requested chicken soup and gatorade for lunch. I spend many hours in front of the tv. At night Joel and I fight. A really shitty fight too. I am under the influence of our FINAL DOSE OF NYQUIL.

I cough ALL NIGHT. I do not understand how Joel sleeps. When I wake up, I again pray for death to take me quickly. I am a sucky sick person. I do not roll out of bed when the alarm rings. Instead I hit it and roll over. In the morning, my sickness is taking over my WHOLE body. Still achy, itchy, throat swollen. But now my throat is also scratchy and dry. I want to pour hot liquid down it to burn it. I don't know why this occurs to me and seems like a good idea. Luckily, I resist the urge because I know it is a stupid idea. I decide that there is no way in the world I will last another day with this terrible anguish and I must venture outside the house for the first time in days to get medication. Before I can do that though, I need to take a shower. It made me feel a lot better yesterday. Here is the point where my day got really shitty. How could my sickness/day get shittier?

Go ahead, take a minute to think it over. (Jeopardy theme...)

If you guessed "Liz got her period two weeks early" you got it right and you are the winner of the gold star for today. Though I use the Diva, this is still REALLY ANNOYING and NOT HELPING. So, cleaned, breakfasted and armed with a debit card, I venture out to CVS for drugs, Blockbuster for three movies, and D&W for gatorade and soup for lunch. I tell my well-meaning organized brain to stuff it when it suggests that I get stuff done today. I am sitting my butt on the couch and possibly not moving 'til tonight.

So, here I sit at 1 pm sharing my story and whining to the internet instead of my husband, who doesn't have patience for whining anyway. Hopefully I'll make it 'til tomorrow alive. I am thinking about heavy sedation until the sickness wears off though. Anyone have any suggestions? If you need me, I'll be lying on the couch drinking airborne, sucking down Hall's with medicated centers, and consuming vitamin water until I explode.