18 July 2006

why won't you let me buy anything?

Last night I went to the mall prepared to buy as many new cute tank tops as I could get my grubby little hands on. At about 7:30 I set out from my house, giving me about an hour and a half. I was not going to be picky. I was not going to haggle with myself over price. I was not going to look at something I found interesting and then put it back because it was too expensive. I was going to SHOP.

Unfortunately, it didn't work out as I had hoped. In fact, it didn't work out at all. See, I have a pretty tiny waist. But I am by no means skinny. I also have a huge ass. Big Dutch Butt or some such thing. So, tiny waist, big fat ass. So, I have a very curvy, womanly figure. Apparantly, no one else has a figure like this. They don't design clothes for it. The style right now is long skinny tank tops. SCREW long skinny tank tops. They are supposed to follow the curve of your body from top to mid thigh. Guess whose tiny waist and fat ass do not fit into tank tops like these? That's right. Mine.

Argh. No one carries regular tank tops, or in fact, any cute tank tops of any size. So I came home from willing to spend as much money as needed, to spending nothing. Ugh. I hate clothes shopping right now. But I did get a pair of flip flops. Off the internet, when I got home. So there.


Darnell Clayton said...

You have my sympathies.

Although I loathe shopping (that would be shopping for anything over an hour) I feel your pain...in my feet.

As I guy I have big feet...size 13 on one foot and 12 on the other. Plus, they are pretty wide, so it is a pain always hunting for shoes to fit my gunboats.

Thanks for the laughs! :)


Since you don't have backlinks enabled, I want to let you know that I referenced your site on Blogger Delights. Congrats!

kkoois said...

i feel your pain. i have the same issues. proportionally, i have a small waist compared to my ass. and often times i have approached the mall with the same goal - buy clothes because i need them and don't worry about the price. but, just like you, i have had the same outcome. maybe we could get together and open a store for people who aren't shaped like mannequins.

JD said...

I say rise up sisters and lets design and produce clothing for women such as us because I, too, suffer from such abnormalities. We MUST be completely abnormal since absolutely no designer or clothing maker caters to no boobs, tiny waist, big ass and hips girls. I lost some weight a few years ago and thought that would solve my problem with shopping - nope, same problem, smaller sizes, hmph. Been there... My condolences for your shopping trip.

Josh Leo said...

Oh Darnell Clayton, such a charmer you are... I am sorry that you couldn't find a tanktop liz, I can never find pants that fit... everyone else is shaped different than me.. isnt that always the way!